Mythical Bastards Comic 2
We met Spohrn in the forest.
He was meditating upside down on a moss-covered rock that may have been sentient. Or cursed. Or both.
Deth: “Is that a monk or a root system?”
Hanh: “Depends on how long it’s been fermenting.”
Spohrn, without moving: “Yes.”
He was our “local guide” — which apparently meant spiritual detour facilitator.
We were there to eliminate bandits. Spohrn had other ideas:
“Let us cleanse their intention with spores and sound.”
He produced a strange instrument: the Spore Gong — an object that looked like a puffball mushroom had merged with a bronze bell and picked up anxiety as a hobby.
The Spore Gong Incident
He struck the gong.
We didn’t fall unconscious — we fell sideways through our own minds.
Deth (me) collapsed into a patch of glowing mushrooms and communed with a hallucinated goat named Carl, who claimed to be a divine accountant.
Hanh levitated two inches off the ground and said, “I can taste time.”
Spohrn simply walked off — upside down — toward the bandit camp, radiating peace like a damp candle.
The Peaceful Massacre
We stumbled in after him, still very high on whatever enlightenment is made of.
Spohrn didn’t fight the bandits. He converted them.
One sat down and wrote a poem called “I Am Also Moss.”
One buried his sword in compost.
One offered Hanh a flower and asked for forgiveness.
Hanh, still hovering, whispered: “Let the rot reclaim us.”
It was… beautiful. Confusing. Possibly illegal.
Final Notes:
Bandits: Emotionally disarmed
Violence: Spiritually redirected
Hanh: Hasn’t blinked in two hours
Deth: Still unsure if Carl was real
Moral of the Story:
Not all fights need fire.
Some just need fungus, sound therapy, and friends who are weirder than your trauma.
– Deth
Field Healer. Spore Survivor. Goat Sympathizer.
Mythical Bastards Comic 2
